Category: Joke Board
>These have been around before, but they're still good!
>
>
> > >Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning
> > > to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
> > > -- Robin Williams-
> > >
> > > Women complain about premenstrual syndrome but I
> > > think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
> > > -- Roseanne-
> > >
> > > Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
> > > -- Billy Crystal-
> > >
> > > You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog
> > > will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right!
> > > I never would've thought of that!"
> > > -- Sean Connery-
> > >
> > > According to a new survey, women say they feel more
> > > comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
> > > undressing in front of other women. They say that
> > > women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
> > > -- Robert De Niro-
> > >
> > > I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I
> > > lost it. I don't know when I lost it. I don't think I
> > > ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job and I don't want it.
> > > -- Bill Cosby-
> > >
> > > In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for
> > > the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this
> > > country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?
> > > -- Hugh Grant-
> > >
> > > We have women in the military, but they don't put us
> > > in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight or
> > > if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has
> > > to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the
> > > enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
> > > -- Elayne Boosler-
> > >
> > > There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting
> > > that many men are having allergic reactions to latex
> > > condoms. They say they cause severe swelling.
> > > So what's the problem?
> > > -- Dustin Hoffman-
> > >
> > > When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
> > > -- Elizabeth Taylor-
> > >
> > > There's very little advice in men's magazines, because
> > > men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women
> > > do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm
> > > doing, just show me somebody naked."
> > > -- Jerry Seinfield
> > >
> > > If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
> > > -- George Clooney-
> > >
> > > Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find
> > > a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
> > > -- Rod Stewart-
> > >
> > > The problem with the designated driver program is,
> > > it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked
> > > into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the
> > > night, drop them off at the wrong house.
> > > -- Jeff Bridges-
> > >
> > > AND THE BEST ONE:
> > >
> > > See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a
> > > penis, BUT only enough blood to run one at a time.
> > > -- Robin Williams-
> > >
lollollol!